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I am 22 years old. I’m a good student, I plan on transferring Fall 2010 or Spring 2011 to a university to get my degree. After that, I’ll go for my masters or potentially law school.
This has been my plan for quite awhile and I’m comfortable with it.
However, I found out last Tuesday that I’m pregnant.
My boyfriend is also in school and plans to transfer at the same time as myself, however, he is going to pursue dental school.
We both have jobs, albeit meager ones.
I’m a nanny and basically use my small income as spending money.
I live with my parents because it is convenient and rent is high here.
My boyfriend works in a dental office, but does not work many hours because he makes enough to fulfill any financial commitments he has right now.
If I choose to have this baby my parents would be horrified and extremely upset. But, they have always reiterated that they would support and love my baby, should I have one. They would never want me to have an abortion.
I dont want an abortion. Although I am pro choice and have always thought I would have one should I find myself in this situation, now that I am, I just don’t see how I can do that. I already feel protective over my baby.
My boyfriend thinks the right thing to do is have the baby. He plans to take on extra hours at work and honestly believes we can do this. Admittedly, we will need our parents help but eventually we could do this on our own.We both have big plans as far as our respective careers go and will remain in school.
Do you think it is right, provided we are not currently in the ideal financial situation, to have and raise this child? What I mean is, do you feel it is wrong to let my parents support us? Obviously it isn’t great, but wouldn’t an abortion be worse?
I have gone back and forth on what to do since Tuesday night. I am more stressed and confused than I have ever been in my life. I cry all the time, and I just want to do what is right. "Right" seems to be a subjective term though. One decision would be morally right, the other logically right. I need advice!
I am due late December/early January so I would have the baby over winter break. Obviously, for the that semester I would take primarily online classes and enroll in midsession classes on campus. I will be twenty three in february, so although I am not financially independent, I am not a child. I am often told and believe I am mentally mature as compared to other people my age, if that even matters.
What should I do?

I think you should have the baby. From what you say it’s in your heart to have the baby and you have a good head on your shoulders. I had my daughter when I was 22 and still in college. I graduated when she was 2 and have been successful. Good luck to you.

He was 7 years old when we adopted him from a rescue center. His previous owners had him since he was a pup, however were moving and couldn’t bring him with.
Within the week of adopting him we found out he had a bad tape worm. Then we found out that he had several teeth surgically removed due to gum disease.
We put him on a pet insurance plan to help pay for any medical issues that might arise, and we enrolled him in a basic training course.
The worms were taken care of, the vaccinations were brought up to date, and we had a minor dental surgery performed to try and save the rest of his teeth.
He graduated at the top of his training class and is very well behaved, he is great with our 6 month old son. (Kid kicks him, pulls his ears, dog just licks him and takes the abuse. Only time he has ever shown any aggression was when a stranger leaned into the stroller to touch the baby, he growled at the stranger. He is very protective of our son and generally follows the baby around the house, keeps an eye on him like a furry nanny.) However he does have a little problem with separation anxiety and sometimes pees in the house if left alone for too long. We are working with him on that issue and have seen much improvement.
We are also working with him on his hygiene- when we first adopted him he didn’t like to be bathed and wouldn’t allow his teeth to be brushed, but now after 8 months we are having a much easier time with performing basic hygiene.

Last week he got sick- he couldn’t hold down any food or water for 3 days. Horrible diarrea, constant vomitting. Even started vomitting blood.
We took him off dog food and water. Started giving him controlled amounts of pedialite. And after a day of keeping down the pedialite we started him on plain rice to eat.
He was very listless and seemed to be in alot of pain but now he’s back to his normal energy level and seems content, if not happy at moments.
Our vet was sure he would need surgery to get through this, however we couldn’t afford the $600-1,200 estimated for exploratory surgery on his digestive tract.
Now he seems to be doing fine without the surgery, whatever it was seems to have passed. Though I won’t lie, he had us all very scared.

His recent illness has brought up the topic for my husband and I…and after much discussion we agree that it may not have been what we were hoping for however we don’t regret the ammount of work nor the ammount of money we put into a dog that we have only had for 8 months. At this point he is part of the family and we would hate to loose him.
However, we were wondering if most other people would have given up by now?
What would you do if this was your dog? With all the unexpected health concerns and the need to re-socialize him…would you have given up?

First, let me applaud your dedication and your obvious love for this creature that has had the misfortune of having love from his previous owners, but most certainly not enough. Seven years as owners should have left them ample time to have him at the vet and had his teeth cared for. Like humans, mouth/gum disease can lead to death in dogs. Also, who the hell moves anywhere that won’t take their dog? SERIOUSLY. Would they have left their child behind? That is inexcusable. I am a dog owner. I have two rescues. One, my boy, I rescued when he was three months old. He will be two years in October. My girl joined us last December and was estimated to be a year and six months old. She is now two. I am their only person. I live alone and thus they are my responsibility. It took months before we got to a "happy place." It was worth the tears, the frustration, the exhaustion. I see them play now, and my heart leaps. I am watching with an awed sense of joy as my boy teaches our girl how to play and how to be loved by humans. She was obviously not well cared for, and is frightened of many things. I would and will never leave my dogs. For anything. I plan to move next May, and every place I look, every place I call, my first question is, "Do you accept pets?" If the answer is no. Forget it.
You have been the kind of person that this dog has been waiting for. You are truly a good owner, a good friend. I will answer your question by saying, NO. I would not have given up. I could not. Just as you have not. When my dogs need any medical attention/food/bones/seat-belts for the car/etc. I do it. I own no credit cards, and work for a not for profit. I am single. How do I afford them? I cut back on stuff I do not need. I have no cable. I am not afraid to eat spaghetti-o’s (w/o meatballs = .66 ). I can live without indulgences, my dog’s well being and health is not an indulgence, it is what it is, their life. I hold that in my hands knowing what a precious gift it is and how very fortunate I am to have that trust and love.
Your dog adores you all. It is clear he tends to your son and does so because the love and trust he has placed in you. You are deserving of that, and so is he.
Keep up the good work! Seriously. You made my heart swell today, reading of all you have done. There are people out there who cannot and will not understand. Anyone. Any one, who has had the love of a dog will. Talk with your vet, or change to the Humane Society’s vets. My two go there. When I could not afford a bill for both, we split one of my dog’s visits so that I could pay for 1/2 as one visit, and the remaining half as the second visit. They are so cool there, and they, like us, just want the dogs to be loved/cared for and in a forever home.
I am here for you, you will recognize me, for I am the one clearly standing in your corner.
You really rock. Really.

I’ve been feeling depressed since middle school..the worst I’ve felt was in 8th grade when I planned to overdose myself and wrote a goodbye letter and everything, but I was too scared to go through with it, wimp that I am, too scared to go on with life then and too scared to end it. It was the pressure. Pressure from both my older sisters, both are about 10 and 9 years older than me and they’re still living with us because my stepfather wants them to focus on going to dental school. They’ve always stuck together; I’m always the odd one out. I’ve no best friends , all of them have moved away each year, so I have no one to talk to. I have two close friends, but every time I try to talk about something serious to them, like how I’m feeling so stressed, they don’t know what to say and it’s just..silence, so I have to change the subject and act like im okay. One of my sisters, we have always fought against each other, and she has always won because she is like the leader of my family..she’s loud, mean, selfish, prejudiced, overweight, spoiled, but intelligent, she’s at the top of her classes at school so no one has any doubt she’s going to become a doctor easily..she always yells at me, in my face, whenever I mess up the littlelest thing or when I don’t follow what she says like what classes not to take in high school and calls me stupid and retard and ugly, and im not a confrontational person, im weak I know that. And then she always goes off and talks about my idiocy to my other sister, sometimes right in front of me. And she and my stepfather make me study for SATS three hours everyday, im a sophomore, and keeps stressing me and pressuring me and she keeps shouting and shouting and saying that she’s doing it to help me, but the way she does it she suffocates me and I’m scared I’ll do bad on the SATS cuz im a stupid person like she says I am even though I know I’m not completely stupid because I’m in the top of my class, but it’s just so..hard to be optimistic anymore. Every moment of my life, every day, I always find myself wishing desperately that I can just go and take the bottle and drink it all and just end this life because nothingness is better than what im feeling now. It’s the wimpy way out I know and I know that I have a whole life ahead, but I just don’t care! I don’t know what to do. It’s not just my sister, it’s my mom. She’s Vietnamese and the strictest and most protective over me because im her favorite. She won’t let me go anywhere or do anything cause she still treats me as a kid and still expects me to do well at school. No one can tell her anything because she’s just one of those moms you can’t tell anything personal to, so I can’t tell her anything either. And can’t tell anyone the whole thing..there are other issues that I have that I can’t tell. I just, I want to freakin end my life. I want to do it soon. But im still trying to hang on because a part of me knows that it would be wrong. That all I have to do is endure it all and say nothing and keep it all inside like I have been doing all my life for the next 10 years with my mom, my oldest sister whos 25 is still living with us because both my parents want her to stay here and she doesn’t care anymore. I can’t..i won’t be able to continue like this for the next ten years like both my sisters have. They have no life so now they’re trying to control me, act as my parents by controlling who I should or should not hang out with, that I should only hang out with people of my race and who are smart, that I AM dumb and I have to be reminded of that everyday. And there are other..big reasons why i am feeling this way, i just cant tell it here.. I need, I just need someone to answer back, to tell me that im not alone in feeling this way and just..endure it for the next ten years. Because I really am afraid..that I am going to drink that bottle pretty soon and leave no note this time.

You’re not alone in feeling this way.

You’re not dumb. Every family has problems, and everyone thinks about ending it at least once in their life, even if they will never admit it out loud to anyone, ever, as long as they will live.

Things always get worse before they get better, and I know that’s not a lot of consolation, but my point is that things will get better. If you aren’t happy, it’s your life, and you can’t allow others to force you to be so unhappy that you would rather be dead than be here. I know you feel like you could never tell them, and I’m not saying you SHOULD tell them, but if your mother and sister knew that you would rather be actually dead than living with them for the next ten years, I bet you they would let you leave. It might be the hardest thing you ever do to live through this, and to get away, but you will be alive, and you will have a chance at life.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. Please email me if you want to talk, cdsmith87@yahoo.com, I don’t know you and I won’t judge. I’ve been where you are.